1
I remember the moment I realized I was lost.
I scrutinized myself in the mirror, searching the lines of my face for any semblance of the man I once was. A blank canvas. You know if you stare at your reflection long enough, your face will become distorted somehow. Well, I was hoping for the opposite. Something was missing, something of importance. I examined my emotionless dark eyes but found more questions than answers. I scanned the sharp features of my face, everything the same, nothing different, yet I was staring into the face of a stranger.
I noted the time over my shoulder. The time isn’t really important. But it was evening and we were already running late. I wasn’t in the mood for a costume party, but I promised the client of the firm I would make an appearance, and I don’t break a promise.
I grabbed the black top hat off the bedside table, sitting it atop my well-groomed chestnut hair, glad the shadow of the brim hid the hollow look in my dark brown eyes.
“Are you ready, sir?” her voice seethed with disdain. Evidently, we were both still on edge and on guard.
I regarded the reflection of my testy sub, too worn down from the battle that afternoon to fight her on her attitude. Even with the cloud hanging over our relationship, I was drawn to her. She had me by the heart and my balls. That’s why I’d been blind to her bullshit for so long. How fucking stupid I was.
Lilith was a liar, a cheat, and an all-around psycho. But like they say, the crazy ones are always the best in bed. She made my life miserable, but damn if she wasn’t good enough to eat, her cream curves shoved into a corset as fiery as her hair. Swept over her shoulder, I admired the red waves pour over her breasts like blood against snow.
She was my weakness.
She was my blind spot.
I didn’t answer her. I retrieved my red tailcoat from the bed and shouldered it on, adjusting the black collar and lapels until they were straight. She held out my wool overcoat with a glower, and I walked over to her to take it. Before my fingers curled around the fabric, she dropped it on the carpet, turned her back to me, and headed out the door.
Driving to the party, I attempted to make amends, reaching for one of the hands slumped in her lap. When my fingertips brushed her thumb, she jerked away and glared out the passenger window at the leaf-covered streets of Philly. Ouch.
Fast forward to the brownstone hotel downtown, we rode the elevator to the penthouse, her on one side of the cab, me on the other. The doors opened to a private lobby where the head of security asked for our names.
When he found me on his clipboard, “Welcome,” he said, opening the door and stepping aside.
“Thanks,” I replied.
We stepped into the entryway, and a bondage-clad stunner approached with barely more than a smile on; her perky breasts proudly on display through her cupless bra.
“May I take your coat, sir?” she asked flirtatiously.
I didn’t put much stock into it. She was paid to entice and make even the ugliest of men feel like a fuckin’ Adonis. Lil shrugged off her heavy shawl with a huff, staring down the scantily-attired blonde, her male-driven attention obviously displeasing her.
She didn’t want me.
She didn’t want anyone else to want me either.
When the girl smiled at her death stare, Lil shoved the cover-up at the boundary-pushing temptress, catching her by surprise, and marched away. She disappeared into the sea of costumes.
Under normal circumstances, I would’ve put the half-naked hostess in her place for disrespecting of our relationship. But, with complete transparency, I ate up the little spectacle. Lilith put me through hell in the previous months. Longer actually. I wouldn’t come to learn how deep she drove the knife into my back until after the death of us.
Yes, deviants, she is not the heroine of this story. But the evil queen. So, if you already dislike her. Your instincts are correct.
Opting to keep space between us, I moved from room to room, becoming aware very quickly what type of party it was. Let me paint a picture of the scene. The atmosphere was dark and depraved. Dimmed lights lent to seductive shadowed corners, allowing for opportunities of wickedness. Drugs were passed around like Halloween candy. Alcohol flowed freely. Sex hung thick in the hot air.
Now, a fun little fact, the wealthy are some of the kinkiest, most sadistic motherfuckers out there. The representation of wealthy, kink-crazed Doms within contemporary literature isn’t entirely inaccurate. However, the average CEO is usually getting pissed on and slapped around in some Dominatrix’s dungeon rather than doing the spanking. Money, power, control does funny shit to people.
Exiting one of the many rooms, a man occupying an aforementioned secluded corner demanded my attention, his grasp on a male companion’s hair, attacking his cock with enthusiastic moans. The receiver dragged in a sharp breath, slamming his pleaser’s head down as he released hard. His head tilted back, face strained, mouth twisted, in the wake of his orgasm’s devastation. His eyes opened and locked with mine, a warped smirk across his lips. He took enjoyment in an audience.
Back in the main room, I ordered a straight vodka from a waitress wearing a cupless bra, drank it to steel my nerves, and decided to handle my current red-headed situation, I wove through the multiplying crowd toward the stairs to search the second floor of the penthouse, turned Roman bathhouse, when my sights fell on a brunette knockout. Her catlike eyes examined me from behind a strip of delicate black lace. I was unable to make out the hue under the shield of fragile fabric, but they were definitely pinned on me, inspecting me with innocent curiosity.
I’m not ashamed to admit I admired her pink fuck-me lips, the way they set into a perpetual smirk, scooped up at the corners. I considered all the acts I could perform on that mouth.
I mentally subdued myself before approaching the stairs.
“Hello,” her voice cracked when I passed her, and it killed my determined stride in its tracks.
“Good evening,” I replied with a faint smile.
She returned one, though it was warmer and more charming on her. She really does have a lovely mouth, I noted to myself. I felt dirty for noticing another woman. Turbulent as my situation with Lil was, I wasn’t one to have the wandering eye.
“Excuse me,” I murmured and started back up the stairs, determined to complete my mission of tracking down my plus one.
Six shut doors greeted me at the top of the stairs, quietly standing guard of the long hallway. It was the seventh at the very end that caught my attention. It was the only one that was open. And there was a group of men standing outside the door, poking their heads over each other’s shoulders to get a better look inside the dark room.
My stomach sank to my feet.
I pushed through the pack of wolves salivating at the mouth to look inside. My eyes took time to adjust, searching deep into the darkness. From the shadows came a noise as recognizable as my own voice, whimpered moans.
I swung the door open until it met the wall with a startling bang, the light from the hall flooding the room, my shadow cast across the floor.
There she was. Naked and straddling some random man cock deep inside her while sexual deviants explored their darkest fantasies of voyeurism. She was too deep in her own body to notice me. Maybe she didn’t give a shit. It was the stranger buried in my sub who discovered me in the doorway, testing the strength of the glass in my grip. The question was, which would crack first? The glass or me.
He grasped onto her hips, biting into her shoulder while she rode him like a prized pony. Her head rolled back and her eyes connected with mine, unchanging and unfazed. She smirked. She fucking smirked at me. Her lipstick smeared, red streaking her face, from his dirty fucking mouth. She got off on me catching her. She wanted me to catch her. She rode him harder.
Before I knew what was happening, the glass disappeared from my hand, shattering in a spectacular explosion against the wall behind them. The crowd behind me quickly dispersed when they realized I wasn’t there to watch the show starring my submissive. Her co-star jumped out of the chair. Her ass hit the ground. The chicken shit was out the door, cock in hand, before she finished bouncing. I hoped it left a nasty bruise.
She opened her filthy mouth to spin more lies. Fuck that. I turned my back on her, our relationship, and walked out the door toward my future without her, leaving her on the floor.
I didn’t stop until I left the hotel lobby, inhaling the soggy leaves and wet cement scenting the air. October stung my lungs. Better than the sting left behind from what I’d witnessed—what half the party witnessed. I stood there, deciding what the fuck my next move was. Instead of turning right toward my car, I turned left, letting my feet take me where they wanted. I wasn’t more than two hundred feet from the front doors when I heard a female voice call out, “Hey! You in the hat! Wait!”
I spun around, surprised when the dark-haired beauty swiftly approached me with an almost skip in her step.
“What?” I snapped, regretting it when I noticed her face.
Her eyes popped open, and her lips parted as she reached for the words that eluded her. She looked so wounded. I felt like an asshole. She did nothing to deserve such callous treatment. It wasn’t her fault.
“I’m sorry,” I sighed. “I’m not good company right now.”
She smiled dimly with those pouty lips and stared up at me through the lace of her mask. “It was silly of me to chase after you. You obviously wanted to be alone.”
Her fingers locked together in front of her.
She was attracted to me. It was evident in the way she watched me on the staircase, in her body language. Truth told. I found the idea of her company tempting if only to postpone the inevitable breakdown from the emotional weight.
“Join me for a walk?”
She scrutinized me, suspicious of my shift in direction. “If I told you I don’t bite, it would be a blatant lie.”
The right corner of her mouth twitched into this sexy half-smirk. “Sure.”
“Alexander.”
I continued in the direction I was headed, and she followed suit, keeping pace with my casual gait.
“R,” she replied.
We walked in silence next to one another for blocks, taking in the late-night.
She was the first to break the quiet between us. “I don’t normally chase after strangers.”
“Why change now?”
“I’m not sure,” she answered.
I suspected she was lying, embarrassed by her actual motive.
“Didn’t your parents ever warn you not to go chasing strangers in funny hats down dark streets?”
“Well, they warned me, but I’m not sure they were that specific about it…A loophole if you will.” I chuckled weakly. If I wasn’t in such a shit mood, I may have actually laughed. “Why leave a lively party after only a short time?”
I cleared my throat. “I didn’t want to be there anymore.”
“Obviously, but why?”
Too soon to delve into my failed relationship, I ignored the question. It was growing colder, the threat of snow in the air. I needed to get her somewhere warm. Luckily, I knew a place not far away.
“Are you hungry?”
“I could eat,” she replied with a lazy bob of her shoulders. I found the gesture endearing.
“There’s a place around the corner. We could grab a bite and warm ourselves.”
“Sounds like a plan. But, first, would you tell me your last name?” Her breath was visible in the chill.
“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”
“That’s very first grade of you.”
“Yes, but I read at a second-grade level.”
She shot me a you-think-you’re-so-cute look and chuckled.
“Drake.”
“Well, Alexander Drake, I guess we’re not strangers anymore,” she stated with a self-pleased grinned.
I felt something bordering a smile tweak my lips.
“I guess not.”
I offered her an elbow and a little more of myself. She slipped through my arm and my defenses.
